1. |
Flight Risk
02:07
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Save it for another time, when you can care
wind stings your face like a time, when you could care
disconnected from, grasp for notions you once held so dear
working once again, for something far away from here
When you tell me that you empathize I feel no peace in my mind
I don't want to you to know what this is like
I want you to tell me that I'm fucked up so I know I'm in a hole
not a plateau I can't climb out of
Tell me what are we suffering for?
meant to live for so much more, if we could navigate this fear
I know safeties an illusion, I don't claim to believe otherwise
I'm just trying to up the odds by cutting scum like you from my life
if exile's not an option, tell me why are you running?
from the inclusivity you pushed us from, did you see that coming?
It's hard to prioritize way down at the bottom
when you fight whatever clouds your eyes, problems I got em
tell me what it's like up there with all of your choices
but don't tell me to pick my battles
cuz if I could fucking choose I wouldn't have them
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2. |
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Wait a fucking second, suddenly will power is not enough?
I have been told since I could be told/that if I flied right and straightened up, I would be alright.
Now you wanna get clinical with me?
Cuz I did everything I was supposed to do and what the fuck did that get me?
Who cut my wick? Who shot my nerves? Who's gunna fix it cuz I never learned.
Repeat yourself, it gets me every time.
I am so so stuck, so so stuck in my mind.
Ignore me, yeah pay me no mind.
These problems they are not yours they are mine, and mine alone.
It's funny to think I was deluded enough
to feel like I was a cis boy 'til you fucked it up.
Use whatever pronouns, you can't abuse me
now please excuse me while I down another mickey to forget myself, and everyone else.
You'll watch me drown cuz I won't ask for help
out of sight, out of body
out of mind, out of body
out of body, out of body, get me out of this body.
Pre chorus
Chorus
And I hold on so tightly, cuz most times I cannot see
I'm just grasping at sharp objects pretending that they feel soft to me
you grabbed my wrist and pulled my blindfold free
showed me what I held and all the blood I thought I'd cleaned
lets do this together
you mean so much to me
no you are not a defect you are the most beautiful thing I could never conceive
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3. |
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When your eyes first opened you were complete
built like a sieve with a sponge and some DMT
fill me up corrupt me with things I didn't ever need
trivial nature, imposed by those who can't see
Copy cat copy cat, where'd you get all those lives?
And as you forget your heart compartmentalized
You cried when the keys scattered cross the 7 seas
spend your life searching without clues or room to breathe
Aging and desperate you ache for fleeting peace
and every fall you find one of the keys to your heart
It's a puzzle that takes you months to solve
just to watch the parts scatter the continent
and what's the point if I don't have a soul left to take when this is all done? So why can't I just get out now?
Every morning I am born again
into a world I don't want to participate in
naked and crying and done before I begin
why? keep marching through the dark
why? keep marching, keep marching
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4. |
Hands on Ends
03:31
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Patience growing thin with your excuses
as I grow colder with these rooms
fill them to the brim let's tremble closely
heart towards the spring eyes to the moon
Oh, it's breaking me up again slow, as the ice from the season collapses
it's February in my soul when I feel the spring coming around
J:
And I don't want to keep myself safe
if it's killing all the things that make hearts worth having
and closing off the light with the dark outside is closing in
my patterns to survive kick in
and I've realized I won't begin without sacrificing
But you shouldn't have to coax me out, I wanna be here
I open my mouth and try to speak clear
but no words come out, I'm locked deep inside myself
With hands on ends, thoughts unclear, bring me home, I'm not here.
S:
I don't know how to keep myself safe
and I'm sitting in this room of fear and I can't catch your eye
but you're never too far gone from here
your strings are woven through this heart
they're keeping it from falling apart
I'm here with you 'til it gets dark, then won't you take me home please?
Pre chorus
Chorus
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5. |
Bags and Bottles
02:08
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Alone and airborne a beast saunters in
he's got the hunger in his eyes and there's no stopping him
and you didn't know a thing about innocence 'til it was stolen
grab hold you've got to learn to swim
how long were you without oxygen?
you wouldn't know, until you took another breath in
You grew tall with your tales and your walls
and your parallel lines and your bags and bottles
crashed hard to teach you to keep rising
I grew up fast I guess I grew up mean
but can someone please explain to me
why's it gotta hurt the most to try to grow wiser?
And so you learn from a young age that everyone wants something from you, head down avoid gazes. Anything set to remind you.
When you cannot recognize what's genuine, ingest these poisons just to lower your defenses for awhile.
But they kill what's worth sharing in you, so fuck that.
I won't stop fighting as long as I'm breathing,
I will find what works if I keep believing.
I remember how it felt when I said and I meant
that your head on my chest
makes my history hurt less.
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6. |
Vicious Cycles
02:19
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Trapped inside these vicious cycles
of feeling like you've lost something
you never had to start with, I know
this disappointment comes naturally
Storm arrives and I'm a ship in a bottle
and swallowed alive, where you cannot follow
'til I arrive at the shores of myself
and the light that shines out of my house
Every time I arrive at this scene it seems a little bit different
when I relearn the soil and the scape that I'm in
you can be sure I will get lost again
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7. |
Tunnels
02:57
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Don't know what I'm afraid of
I'm afraid of not actually being a person
Have I strayed so far from my own dream?
Half awake pay phone calls
black mold filling all the walls
you got so blacked out you couldn't even crawl
has anyone been sober since the fall?
And I can't help but wonder if...
If this is just a long dark tunnel
with small flashes of light at the end.
(you're doing better then you know)
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8. |
Loser Pissed at Noon
01:56
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I feel like Montreal
when I drank myself straightedge, it didn't last long
and I am eight years old
pouring all my dads beer right down the sink hole
And swearing that I'll never be like him
why am I like him?
how did this happen to me?
I am fucked up and worth it
and all of these assholes waiting undercover
with their open umbrellas can die.
The taste hits my tongue
and I'm fighting to pretend that I'm not back at square one
and if I had known
that I'd feel this way this long, would I have stayed strong?
I'm sick of this Jekyll and Hyde shit
who do I side with
what kind of man do I wanna be
I am fucked up and worth it
Chorus
and I am that shivering up through your spine that started this all
I am that sinking deep down in your stomach that started this all
I am your lungs shaking, grasping for air that started this all
I am fucked up and worth it
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9. |
Shot in the Dark
01:14
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I walk through the city, three blocks home I was coming to you
a pain on my wrist where she promised me she'd never back down
broken glass and dreams litter the floor and I'm right back at the start
and all of my time spent tilting my head above water
it filled my ears so I couldn't hear you leave us to drown
I took a breath and I sank down under
hope the current will bring me back around
A shot in the dark is better than, a shot to the face
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10. |
What is Time?
02:36
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11. |
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Way back in middle school, I got suspended
for handing out leaflets with anarchistic sentiment
I guess it was more so cuz it used the word cunt in it
but my radical inclinations were cemented then
I'd go to local shows, thought that I was king shit
who'd have thought that punk and anti-o are not synonymous
and drinking 40's in back lanes was not resistance
growing up in Winnipeg don't mean you ain't got privilege
Kid in over my head, I was just a kid in over my head
Then I was 18, out on the west coast
the year was 2010, yeah we all know how that one goes.
but there were times when I thought man, this is really it
cocky smiles through bandanas and some bruised ribs
But oh how they face, the bonds that we made
get sick of marching and screaming til your throat bleeds
you became a politician I became a little more jaded
Chorus.
"I can't offer encouragement unless I believe it
I can't say there's a better world, unless I'm building it"
What happened to that kid?
with so much conviction
he's doing wealths dishes inside old worlds kitchen
can you feel it, The amassing rage?
This fire in your stomach is made of all the times
you compromised your integrity
don't fucking smile at me
when I want to punch your face in
if I were a stronger person
Chorus
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Filthy Liars Vancouver, British Columbia
"FILTHY LIARS are from VANCOUVER, they are a loud, messy, queer emo pop punk boy band and sound like the musical equivalent
of punching a stupid bro while crying, he's crying too, everyone is crying." -Kelly Grub.
mostly trans kids making chicken soup for the teenage soul.
... more
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